What hidden messages are you bottling up?

Suppressed emotions could be bad for your health in more ways than one, and it seems that we Brits still value our stiff upper lip.  A survey published in ‘The Telegraph’ yesterday, and conducted by the Samaritans, suggests that British people are uncomfortable about discussing personal difficulties.  Of those surveyed, only 23.5% agreed with the statement, “I feel I can talk to other people about my problems”.  Things are even more difficult for males (only 19% agreed with the statement), and over 55s (only 21.5% agreed with the statement) (1).

Suppressed Emotions and Quality of Life
It is not surprising that suppressed emotions affect quality of life.  A survey of young Japanese adults suggested that a bad or unhappy mood has a greater negative impact on life satisfaction if the negative feelings are not expressed (2).  This finding is important, because young adults may be the most likely people to commit suicide.  If they have no way of expressing their feelings, their quality of life may be so affected that they may resort to desperate measures.

Suppressed Emotions and Physical Health
Just as interesting, and perhaps more surprising is the finding that suppressed emotions may affect physical health as well.  Suppressed anger may amplify the relationship between body mass index (BMI) and insulin, and insulin resistance (3).  In other words, larger people who suppress their anger may become more resistant to insulin, which is a risk factor for developing Type II diabetes.  In a study of American adolescents, suppression of anger was found to be the best predictor of high blood pressure (even better than dietary factors) for black males, and for both black and white females (4).

Stiff upper lip: help or hindrance?

Stiff Upper Lip?
When I read the article in Yesterday’s ‘Telegraph’ I confess to being rather shocked by some of the comments.  I can understand the man who does not want his problems to be a burden to his friends, preferring to laugh his problems away in their company.  But perhaps one day there will be a problem that he cannot laugh off so easily, and he will have no strategies for coping.  His assertion that he can “sort out his own problems so why can’t everyone else” is misguided.  Everyone is different, and perhaps he has been lucky so far in that his problems have not been severe, or that he is not prone to depression.

Some readers bemoaned the ‘let it all hang out’ society.  Whilst I tend to disagree with them, I would assert that letting it all hang out is not enough by itself.  Sometimes expressing the emotion is enough to clear it, but what happens when you have expressed the emotion, and nothing improves?  What if you are the type to ruminate on your feelings until they become all-pervasive, despite your having expressed them?  This sort of thing used to happen to me a lot of the time.

Talking or Moaning?
If you, like me, are trapped by feelings which, when expressed degrade into moaning, here is a true story with a practical solution that may help.

There was once a manager whose staff were known for their constant moaning.  Other managers had left because of the whining of the staff, which really dragged them down.  The new manager installed a complaint book.  If there was a complaint the staff member had to write it in the book.  Next to the complaint, they had to write three solutions.  It didn’t matter what the solutions were as long as there were three.  Then the manager would read the entry, tackle the problem, and write next to the entry how she had done so.  The manager showed interest in problem-solving, and the staff felt listened to.  The moaning vanished.  Try this if you are faced with someone who is stuck in a cycle of expressing negative emotions without resolution, or if you fear you may be that person.

For me, Hypnotherapy helped tremendously.  It allows you to express emotions safely to someone who will listen and who cares, but will not interfere or try to offer unsolicited advice.  Furthermore, it does not allow you to ruminate or wallow, but rather to free yourself and move forward as the captain of your own ship; navigating the stormy waters that life has thrown you into. It is tremendously empowering.  This is the therapy that I now use to empower others.

If you relate to this and feel that an emotion you have been unable to express is affecting your life or your health, I would love to hear from you.  Please contact me for a chat.

References:

1. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/12168570/How-the-stuff-upper-lip-is-making-Britons-miserable.html [Accessed 24 February 2016].
2. Yamasaki, K., Sasaki, M., Uchida, K., & Katsuma, L., (2011).  Effects of positive and negative affect and emotional suppression on short-term life satisfaction.  Psychology, Health and Medicine 16(3) 313-322.
3. Tsenkova, V.K., Carr, D., Coe, C.L., & Ryff, C.D., (2014).  Anger, adiposity, and glucose control in nondiabetic adults: findings from MIDUS II.  Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 37(1), 37-46.
4. Johnson, E.H., (1989).  The role of the experience and expression of anger and anxiety in elevated blood pressure among black and white adolescents.  Journal of the National Medical Association, 81(5), 573-584.